Blog Hop

*** This weeks Blog Hop, the theme is THREE THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME (or US). You can express this with photos, writing or a combination.***


First thing you don't know about me, I LOVE TO KARAOKE! Obviously thats me breaking it down on the mic. Singing my all time favorite Fancy by Reba!



Me and my husband have the same middle name:
Benjamin Lee Milam
Sarah Lee Milam

And last but not least, I'm SUPER crafty:
This is a diaper cake I made for my sister's baby shower.

Silent tears...

When I first started writing this blog I think I intended it just to be stories of my life NOW. But since then i have realized there is so much more about my life that has made me who I am today. Like my first born, Caden made such an enormous impact on what I've become and sometimes i feel like his memory is fading from not so much my mind but from the minds all around me. I feel like I cant speak about him. I feel constricted not knowing when its OK to bring him up to people. I dread that look on peoples faces, the look of pity. I don't want to be pitied. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable either. I just want to talk about my son because if i don't say anything and you don't say anything its like he never was here. We DO NOT have 3 children we have 4. Its just that 3 can/or will walk and 1 can fly. Just because Caden never took a breath on this earth doesn't mean he did not live. I hate that I have this mask I put on everyday my "happy mask" so that i can go about life in a "Normal" fashion. That's not to say i am not happy. I am, truly and I'm very grateful for all i do have, my husband, my kids here on earth everything we are so blessed. I am happy but deeper much deeper than that my heart is forever grieving, forever broken, forever bleeding for the one thing i desire most. My precious first born. I know people think, your so strong Sarah, but i don't feel strong. So many days I sit here and cry, my children don't even ask me whats wrong anymore. Its been 7 years and this pain feels like it happened yesterday. A piece of me is missing and i hate it. So in an effort to help you know me better and everything around me I'm going to recruit my dear friend Whitney who was the only friend that got to meet Caden face to face. To tell you what she remembers about my joutney with Caden. I want to thank her in advance for doing this. His death was very hard on her but she is truly a wonderful friend practically a sister and I'm so blessed to have he as a friend and so very glad she was there that fateful day. Watch for her post...

Webcam Fun...

Good evening all! Well yesterday i went to Target(my FAVORITE store) and finally got a web cam I got it all set up and downloaded ooVoo. Its SO great getting to see Ben on the computer almost every night and the kids...OH my goodness...the kids just about died when the saw him. They lit up like a Christmas tree at the sight of their Daddy. He took his laptop and showed them around his hotel room even took it out side to show them what it looked like outside. I'm SO happy for them. Ben showed them where they would sleep when we go down there for family weekend and they were so excited to hear that. I know it will be hard the kids going down there just to have to leave again but i couldn't deprive them the chance to see Daddy one more time before he leaves for the long haul. They'll be fine. Ben has been SOOOO busy, yesterday he got up at 4am worked all day then had to go back for watch at 12-4am, poor thing, he's doing the same thing tonight AND tomorrow. So i talk to him about 6pm for just a few minute so he could try and go to sleep and maybe be half rested for the midnight watch. I ask him why he had it so many days in a row like that. They usually switch out, Ben said that the Lieutenant ask for him to do Coms. So i guess that's a good thing, to be asked for that is. Ben is always striving to be the very best at what he does and i know that will pay of for him. I pray he will have some restful sleep SOON! Anyway I've been pretty busy myself editing pictures for people i don't feel like I've been able to do much else, but i really have to get them out of the way.

Anencephaly, Are You Aware...

So i meet a woman today who has also lost a beautiful baby girl, Carleigh. Her and her family knew for 4 months there sweet baby girl would not be able to live outside the nurturing haven of her womb. Their lovely lady had been diagnosed with anencephaly. If you would like to read Carleighs story: http://carleighmckenna.blogspot.com/
Anencephaly is a neural tube defect (a disorder involving incomplete development of the brain, spinal cord, and/or their protective coverings). The neural tube is a narrow sheath that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without both a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating area of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. The infant is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as respiration (breathing) and responses to sound or touch may occur. The cause of anencephaly is unknown. There is no cure or standard treatment for anencephaly. The prognosis for individuals with anencephaly is extremely poor. If the infant is not stillborn, then he or she will usually die within a few hours or days after birth.

Courtesy of The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke

***HELP RAISE AWARENESS POST A BLOG ABOUT ANENCEPHALY WITH ME***

Carleighs Mommy would like to add:
"I want to add that while most of the medical field believes children with anencephaly cannot do more than basic reflexes and feel no pain, many families will tell you otherwise. I have heard many accounts of babies who cry, suck, feel pain, and are conscious. There are babies who appear to be able to see and to hear. I think that the most truthful information about anencephaly comes from the families themselves.Because of the lack of knowledge in medicine about anencephaly many dr's push their patients to terminate or present it as the best possible option."

Blog Hop

***WELCOME TO THE BLOG HOP!

"I found my FEET!"
This Tuesday is going to a be a PHOTO Blog Hop with the theme of "your favorite photo and caption"! Blog Hop for Tuesday, July 07, 2009: If you are participating in the Blog Hop, be sure to enter YOUR link to your blog post in the list below! If you are not hopping with us, you are missing out on the fun, new traffic for your blog and search engine exposure.***

AMAZING 4th

I had the Best 4th of July. I got to go to MS to be with Ben. I left Thursday and drove til 3:30 in the morning I was so excited i couldn't be tired. Ben kept calling to check on my progress and to make sure i was OK. It really wasn't as bad a drive as i thought it was going to be. It was so nice to get to sleep next to my husband again i would have drove 2 days to get to. The next morning we went to Waffle House since there is one on EVERY corner. I had never been to one but it was really good. Then i had to take Ben to the Base because he had watch for a few hours. While he was there i piddled around Base and then found an Outlet Mall. Finally it was time to go get Ben. This is us after i picked him up...

After we took showers (i was so sweaty from being out side at that Outlet) We went to dinner...
Then to the casino...


On our way back to the hotel we took a little stroll down the beach...

The moon reflecting off the water was so beautiful.


Saturday we went out to eat at a restaurant right on the bayou...



Of course after that it was time for FIREWORKS ON THE BEACH!!!!!





Sunday I had to get ready to come home we went and ate breakfast together and then i took him to do his laundry that he said would only take 20 min (ya right) Here he is trying to trick me into believing his clothes will be dry in 7 min flat. Okay Ben whatever you say...

Then it was time for the lonely drive home...



I had an amazing time! I can't wait to go back and take the kids. We should be going in August for family weekend then Ben will be leaving the states shortly after that.

Wondrous Wednesday