So much to do so little time...

There is SO much to do still before Ben leaves and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. We need a power of attorney still, Ben's got a ticket he needs to take care of, I have to get copies of recent bills for Ben to give to...well i don't know where those are going but apparently he needs those too. Along with so much more and yet just when i start on something I just get in a real funk and give up. That's probably why my house has been in such disarray. I finally got off my lazy bum and cleaned the kitchen up. I just haven't been this depressed in a long time, AND HE HASN'T EVEN LEFT YET!!

Dear Lord, give me the strength to stand tall and guide me through this day. Be with Ben and calm his fears. In your name I pray, Amen.

Last night when we were at my in-laws, Ben was in the back of the house for long time talking to his dad. Which doesn't happen very often, they are not as close as Ben would like. So it was a bit strange for them to be back there as long as they were. Later when me and Ben were driving home he told be bits and pieces of what was said. Stuff about him leaving and things i dare not say allowed. It really made me nervous. I haven't ever really worried about that aspect of it but the way he talked about it last night sounded so real. We had to talk about cemetery plots.~shudder~ His dad asked him if he needed a plot and Ben said he didn't know. It kind of made me sad because he knows the answer to that and its NO, I have 2 plots for us next to our oldest son and my grandparents and that is were we will lay many years from now when we die just like the OLD couple in "The Notebook". (if you haven't ever seen it you should) I have to get it together and buckle down for the long hall.